Sick Girl

04.27.2006 | 12:10 pm | Daily Life, Breastfeeding

So…sick… Ugh, I’ve not been this sick in a long time. What started out Saturday morning as a sore throat, by Monday had turned into the worst cold I’ve had in a while. It’s the kind of stuffy nose that doesn’t seem to respond to whatever decongestant I take. Add to that a fever, body aches, juicy coughing, and my chest hurts so bad it feels like it’s on fire. It’s been six days and I wish it would just go away already.

Philip is still well, as usual, and Gray appears to be too. On Tuesday he spent the day with a constantly runny nose (which he never ever has), so I thought he was coming down with it…but that was gone the next day and he still seems fine. This is the first time I’ve been sick, that Gray hasn’t had access to breastmilk, so I’m interested to see how he does without the direct dose of protective antibodies. All the other times I’ve been sick, he’s never caught it, which amazes me. He’s still only been sick one time in his life. I think the two years of breastfeeding have given him a super-strong immune system, even now when he’s no longer nursing. I only wish I had that immune system for myself!

I’ve been parked on my fat butt all week, too sick to work out or do much around the house. Needless to say, the house is a disaster area and Philip has been going out for takeout most nights. I hate being sick. Every time I get up and try do something productive, the fever & aches return, and I have to go back and lie down. I guess my body is crying out for rest.

G keeps coming to sit with me and saying, “poor Mama!” while he pats me. I’ve done lots of reading. I finished “Armageddon” and am now starting “The Glorious Appearing”. They’re interesting books and fast reads, but I wish the authors would’ve done a better job at making the interpretations a bit more realistic and non-goofy. Oh well, it’s easy reading and very interesting despite the flaws, so I can’t complain too much.

I’ve not spent much time on the computer either. In fact, I should close up the laptop now and rest, but I guess I was wanting to write out how crappy I feel. I’ve been moaning to Philip all week about it. I want it to end. Soon!

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Busy weekend

04.23.2006 | 9:11 pm | Uncategorized, Daily Life, Gray Matters

Friday night we went to the Deathway show at The Venue. We brought Gray with us since the music isn’t civic-center loud. It’s just loud enough to be nice and enjoyable, plus a few extra decibels. It was a really successful show for Deathway, with around 300 people showing up. I’m sad to say that as far as demographics, I was no doubt in the top 1 percent as far as age. Gee, I’m old.

We all had an awesome time! We got to see/hear some really, really good local and regional indie rock bands. Harrison Hudson opened, and he’s my new favorite. He has the best voice. Next it was local band Antebellum, which I like okay, but Philip especially likes them. Then Manchester Orchestra from Atlanta, who had some GREAT music, but their lead singer was all emo-voiced, so that kinda messed it up. But they were still a good band overall…I just wish the emo craze would die already. Lastly was former local band, Arkitekt, who are now in Nashville working on a real album. They were really good. Kinda reminded me of Sanctus Real.

Gray probably had the best time of all. Not only did he get to stay up way past his bedtime, but he loved every minute of the show. From 8 till 11pm, every time one of the bands was performing, he was mesmerised. He insisted on being up in Philip’s arms so he could see the bands. He truly enjoyed every song. I love that he’s becoming a little rocker! Philip couldn’t be prouder, I know, because he’s said so. I hope G doesn’t end up liking emo, though, because it sucks.

We made it home and got him into bed around 11:30pm. I don’t think he’s ever stayed up that late. Then, on Saturday, we were all so tired after our late night, that we all took a nap after lunch. G usually takes a 2-hour nap, but he slept for 3 hours that day…I think I slept almost as long.

And this afternoon, we went to the beach! Our first time this season; hopefully the first of many. It’s fun to see how differently G reacts to everything each time. This time, he dove right into the sand, which usually freaks him out for a while. But, he was slower to get in the water. It didn’t take long, though, till he was all wet and having a blast in the Gulf. We stayed till the sun started setting, and headed home. On our way to the car, G fell on the sidewalk and skinned his knee and toe all up. He screamed like he was dying. He was bleeding, and people were looking all sorry for him. He gets skinned knees all the time now, but this is the worst he’s ever had.

We made it home, gave him a bath, and it was already bedtime. And now, he sleeps. Ahhh… I love my time each night after bedtime! :)

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Would you like that carpet in Pink Starshine?

04.15.2006 | 12:30 pm | Uncategorized, Daily Life, Gray Matters

I broke out the nail polish yesterday to do my inaugural spring toenail-polishing. My toenails stay bare all winter, but with sandal season upon us, I must have pretty toenails. So yesterday was the day. Mary Kay Pink Starshine was the color of choice. I had a little extra time, so I even polished my fingernails, which I rarely do anymore. It usually chips by the second day, so I usually don’t bother - but since Sunday is Easter, I thought I’d splurge.

I finished up and stepped out back onto the deck to take a couple of pictures of my toenails, for SPF. One of our assignments was “something spring-ish”, so my freshly painted toenails were my chosen subject. It took me no more than a minute to snap a couple of shots and step back inside.

The first thing I saw was Gray, standing in the living room, with my nail polish wand in his hand. I felt so sick. I ran over to check the damage, and oh, was it ugly.

There was bright pink nail polish spilled all over the carpet between the coffee table and loveseat. There were streaks of it all over my coffee table. And I couldn’t see the actual bottle of nail polish anywhere.

I started yelling in my possessed voice, “GRAYSON!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHERE IS THE BOTTLE?!”, etc.
Gray started bawling.
I kept freaking out, trying to find where the bottle of open nail polish had ended up.

Philip had been on the phone with one of his partners, and when he heard the commotion, he told her there was an emergency and he’d call her back. He came in and joined me in the freaking out. Gray continued bawling.

Philip moved the coffee table and there we saw the bottle of polish, laying on its side, most of it spilled out in a big pink puddle on the carpet. The carpet is light beige, by the way. And fairly new, and we were the ones who paid a lot of money to have it installed, so I try to take care of it.

It was hard to know exactly what to do with that bad of a mess, but I finally got some sense to me and told Philip to get the nail polish remover and a rag. He got them, and went to work on the stains, which seemed quite futile.

I picked up the now-mostly-empty polish bottle and closed it. Then I tried to wipe the polish off of my coffee table, to no avail. I’ll have to sand the polish off and re-finish it, but that’s not too hard.

Then I took Grayson and we had a meeting in the bedroom. He was clearly upset at what had happened. I was very angry at him for disobeying me…I’d already told him to keep his hands off all the nail polish. I checked his clothes and only found a few spots of polish on his t-shirt. He had it all over his fingers, though, and I could see that he’d actually attempted to paint his big toenail. LOL. I couldn’t help but laugh inside about that.
I spent a long time in there with him, discussing what had happened and why he was in trouble for it. He seemed very aware of the damage he’d done, as well as very upset about it…that had probably come from seeing both of us so freaked out about the mess ourselves.
I took him out and let him see Daddy cleaning up the mess. He started crying again. I told him I forgave him for it, but used the moment to express very clearly again, that he is NOT supposed to touch my nail polish, or anything else we tell him not to touch. He said, “okay,” and “I sorry.”

We only had a little bit of nail polish remover, so Philip had to run up to the store and buy more. While he was gone, I checked online for how to clean nail polish from carpet. There were some good tips, and people had gotten some fairly good results from nail polish remover, in addition to ammonia, peroxide, and OxiClean.
I called Kelly while I waited for Philip to get back, because I was so upset at my carpet being ruined, and I needed to vent. And I didn’t want to scold G anymore - I’d already expressed how upset I was, and how bad it was that he disobeyed, how bad the results had been…anything beyond that I view as berating him. So I needed to talk to someone else to divert my frustration away from G & what he’d done. I’m sooo glad she was there to talk to! She really diffused the anxiety I was feeling, especially when she told me that years from now, it’ll be one of those stories of his childhood that we’ll all laugh about. :)

Philip returned, and he spent over an hour scrubbing the spots with nail polish remover. It removed the actual gooey parts of the nail polish, but left bright pink stains from the dye. It was still a big ugly mess.

So we decided to try some of the other remedies I’d read about. First I tried a mixture of peroxide and ammonia, being careful to test it on the huge spill that would be covered by the coffee table, because I was afraid it would bleach the carpet. Well, it immediately lifted out the pink stain, but it also bleached the carpet. Doh! (Although I have to admit, it was better than pink!)

So I nixed the peroxide and applied just the ammonia. Amazingly, it lifted much of the pink stains, but didn’t harm the carpet color. So I spent an hour or so scrubbing each stain (there were a LOT of them) with ammonia on a toothbrush.
When I finished, it looked so much better, but there was still a pink cast to each area where the polish had been.

So I then I tried the OxiClean. I mixed it up double-strength, and poured it directly on all the spots. Let it soak for about 20 minutes. Scrubbed and scrubbed. Rinsed and rinsed.
Once I rinsed, I saw the results immediately. It was amazing. The pink spots had faded to very faint.

So I repeated the OxiClean process again, with another double-strength mixture.
Philip did the rinsing this time, which took over an hour. Then we both towel-dried the entire area until the bulk of the wetness went away.

We stepped back and couldn’t believe it, but the stains were nearly unnoticeable. MUCH better results than either of us thought we’d see, no matter what we tried.

It was 10:30pm, six hours after the incident occurred. We’d spent the entire evening and night cleaning that stain, only stopping to eat in shifts, and to put G to bed. But, it saved our carpet.

I don’t think anyone who doesn’t know what happened would ever even notice the light pink cast that remains in some areas. Knowing it happened, you can tell, but it’s still only ever-so-slight. I think that it turned out pretty good, considering the type of stain. Thank goodness for the internet, because I’d have never known what to try, after the nail polish remover.

I just have to say that this was my first time ever to use OxiClean. I’ve always poo-pooed it because it’s expensive, and I’ve never had a need for it, as plain old 99-cent bleach takes care of most stubborn stains I encounter. But this was a stain I couldn’t use bleach for. And nothing else was working on the last of the pink stains. So I sent Philip to get a bucket, and gladly paid the outrageous price.

I am in love with that product now. Before we used it, I told Philip that if it got those stains out of the carpet, I would hunt down that annoying Billy Mays guy from the OxiClean commercials and kiss him on the lips. Now that I’ve actually witnessed that it worked, I’m looking for his number. I might actually tongue-kiss him for this.

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Good Friday & Easter

04.14.2006 | 1:47 pm | Uncategorized

It’s Good Friday, the beginning of what Easter is all about.

It means so much more than all the bunnies and candy and references to Spring. I hate how our culture celebrates Easter. I know there are many who aren’t religious. I understand that they choose not to celebrate it in a religious way, and that’s their prerogative. But when Christians buy into the commercial portrayal of Easter, I find it sad.

I’m working hard to instill in Gray the beautiful meaning of Easter, sans the pop-culture icons. This year he still won’t grasp it, but next year there will be no bunnies, no commercial BS, no adding to the story. It’s not what Easter is about, and it’s my responsibility to keep him from being confused.

Thank you Jesus, for your unbelievable love for each & every person, that you would do such a thing for any one of us. I’m sorry for every single time I take your gift for granted. I’m trying to do better.

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Schwing!

04.4.2006 | 9:27 pm | Daily Life, Gray Matters

They finished the roof Saturday afternoon, and then P’s dad finished putting up G’s swingset. When the sun set Saturday evening, we had a finished roof, and G finally had a swingset! YAY!!

Here are final pictures of the roof:

I LOVE it. They did a really good job. It took them 9 days, though! But that’s because it was just the two of them doing all the work–they couldn’t get any help. But Philip’s dad said it’s more solid than if a roofing company had done it, because they were very meticulous about doing everything perfectly. I believe he’s probably right. I do hope that we have no reason to find out this season whether or not it will hold up under high winds.

So on to the swingset. G is more into it than I even expected. He calls it his “schwing! schlide!” Haha! He’s been “schwinging” non-stop since Sunday. He will just schwing and schwing for what seems like forever. He caught on quickly how to pump his feet to keep himself going. I love to watch him! He also likes to climb up and “schlide”, but not nearly as much as he’s loving the schwinging right now. I’m sure he’ll get more into the other stuff as the newness wears off.
Here are some pictures of him enjoying it over these past couple of days:

We’re going to put some boards around the perimeter and fill the entire swing area with sand. That way he can have a sandbox area, but it will also give him some cushioning, should he ever take a bad fall.

There’s been so much other stuff going on around here, I don’t even know where to start. But that’s it for now. Oh wait, I just remembered this. Apple is going to replace my iPod’s headphones for free. I called just to see, and they said that there’s no reason they should’ve gone out with less than a year’s use, so they’re sending a new set. Woohoo!

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April 2nd!

04.2.2006 | 11:26 pm | Uncategorized, Infertility/Miscarriage

Three years ago today I found out I was pregnant with Gray!!!

I had a really good suspicion I was, but I forced myself to wait till cd 25, which was April 2nd. I had a job interview that day, went to that, went to Walmart and did grocery shopping, and picked up a test. I had been so afraid to even tell PHilip that I was feeling pretty good about the symptoms I was already having…I was afraid to jinx it! So only I knew that I was about to do this.

I wanted to wait till the next morning to test but I couldn’t make myself wait any longer. I caved at around 3pm and took the test. I left it sitting on the bathroom counter and walked away for a few minutes. I think I went to the computer and read a couple of emails to pass the time. When it had been enough time, I walked to the bathroom, and I remember my hands shaking. I was 95% sure in my gut, that I was going to see two lines, based on how I’d been feeling. I was right! The test line was pretty faint, but it was most definitely a line.

It wasn’t as amazing a moment as my first positive test was, because this time I wasn’t naive about how fleeting early pregnancy can be. But I still remember the rush of blood to my stomach when I saw the line. I remember smiling and thanking God right there in the bathroom.

The phone rang, and it was my friend Cindy calling to chat. I immediately blurted out to her that I had JUST taken a test and it was positive! So, she was the first person I told. She still thinks that was pretty neat.

I emailed Philip at work and told him to call me. He did, and I told him. This time, there wasn’t the celebration there had been a few months earlier. :( We were pretty solemn, although very happy at the same time about the possibility of it working out.

After I hung up with him, I felt overwhelmed with fear. I was only 3 weeks and 5 days pregnant, and knew that anything could so easily go wrong. My previous miscarriage had been at 6 weeks.

The fear and what-ifs started compounding, and I didn’t know how else to handle them but to pray. But I was too scared to pray coherently, so I just kind of fired off a few sentences in my mind, expressing my fear and apprehension. I felt a sudden…word?…in my heart to go and get my Bible. I don’t know what else to call it. It wasn’t an audible voice, no direct words even in my mind, but I just felt like I should go and open it and just read. So, I did.

I opened it up and wondered where I should be reading, but before I could turn the pages to look up anything, I just looked straight down at the page, and my eyes hit this verse:

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
——Isaiah 43:19

(If this isn’t familiar, check the March 11 entry. It’ll make perfect sense.)

There it was again. Good old Isaiah 43:19.

That was another one of those moments. God was there, so amazingly tangible that I could feel his presence in the room with me. I knew that THIS time it was going to end beautifully.

It did. :)

I had MANY scary moments along the 9-month journey, but despite all the spotting and contractions and issues that were to come, I always knew deep in my heart that this child was God’s gift, and nothing was going to take it away from me this time.

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