Bite me!
Meet my new workout companion:
Her name is Chrysops Tabanidae, but she’s more commonly known as the Deer Fly. She’s a notorious biter and all-around nuisance in Gulf-Coast Florida, and very similar to the Yellow Fly.
She brings all her friends with her, and they join me (and Philip, Grayson, & Reagan) on our evening walks. They come in swarms and congregate around our heads as we walk. They BITE. It HURTS. BAD. And they’re aggressive. We swat at them, but they just come right back to get us. So every evening, we walk along, swatting and (me) screaming whenever they land on us. Strangely, they don’t ever go near Grayson, which is a good thing, because I’m afraid he’ll be warped if Mommy were to start swatting at his head.
But Philip and I keep an eye out for them on each other’s bodies. I’ll look up at Philip and see that he has 5 of them lying in wait on the back of his head. I’ll say, “Don’t move”, and then I’ll give his head a good, strong WHACK. Philip winces and moans, and poor Grayson looks up at us with big eyes. I’m frustrated because I didn’t get a one of them before they scattered. Then Philip freezes his gaze on me in such a way that I know they must all be on MY head now. Then he WHACKS me, and I wince and moan, Grayson looks like he’s going to cry because now Daddy’s hitting Mommy, and Philip mutters, “almost got that one, dangit!” Every now and then, our whacks result in one of the little suckers falling dead to the ground, but most whacks are fruitless (other than the great fun of getting to WHACK each other). We do make sure to do lots of laughing and reassuring Grayson, so that he knows we’re not beating each other up. 
I’ll be glad when Deer Fly season is over. Technically it lasts all summer, but May has always been the worst month in my experience, so hopefully our walks will get a little better soon.
